I typed "Chicken Little Creams" the first time which actually sounds delicious. "Tonight our special is the braised lamb shank with a carrot foam and chicken little creams". Delightful. We'll take two.
Anyway, I had a dream I wanted to get down.
I know why I had it. I know exactly what it means.
The why: Parenthood. The most precious, overly produced, emotionally manipulative show on tv. And I never....miss....an ep. Sigh. Anyway, SPOILER ALERT, last night's ep ended with a main character finding out she has breast cancer. It was TOTALLY out of left field and that made me mad until I thought...."wait...it's always out of left field." I felt like I had been bitch slapped by a walrus when I found out. So well done stupid Parenthood.
It made me cry in that way where all of a sudden there is a rock in your chest and your eyes start leaking like someone took the bubble gum out of your damn.
I shook it off and went to bed. Dumb move. I should have watched an ep of something like Benny Hill or whatever to clear my pallet.
It was night and I was at a place called Starved Rock but it wasn't the real Starved Rock. It was a giant ocean and then mountains made out of this black spongy stuff that would fall away as you tried to climb it. I was carefully edging up one of the hills to try and see the water but was yelling to everyone "people die here a lot! be careful!" and then started shaking violently.
I closed my eyes like I knew what was coming. Then I heard the sound of a body falling to the ground with a sickening thud and then the panicked splashing and swimming of people below trying to save the most certainly dead person. I opened my eyes and it just kept happening. People on land weeping, trying to put the bodies back together of their loved ones. Others swimming out into the ocean desperately to avoid being crushed by the falling people.
Then I made the decision to just look at the ocean and the sky and fireworks started going off. I watched them and cried and tried with every cell in my body to shut out the chaotic sounds of death and mayhem to my right.
I woke up exhausted and sad but made myself think about it until I came up with....
Obviously the black and spongy mountains are tumors and illness. People falling from the sky are what I can't control. I can't shout loudly enough to make sure no one I love gets sick. It just won't work. Science and all that. So why not just try and see some pretty lights in the sky? That's how I've chosen to live and be. But no matter how many fireworks I find there is still chaos and mayhem to my right. Finding the balance of being realistic and staying optimistic as not to betray who I've always been is an interesting journey for me. Not bad. Not easy. Just an enormous part of the rest of my adventure of self.
Parenthood is really getting hacky but I do love Ray Romano. Everybody does!