Last night in writing class we all were handed pictures of an object and had to try to describe them to the rest of the class without telling too much. Kind of like Taboo. For example if you had a picture of a fire hydrant you couldn’t say what it’s used for or something LIKE it…had to be purely physical description.
First off the teams were uneven so I ended up getting my own picture and not being on a team so I had to describe it by myself. So it was a little daunting from jump street.
It was just a real nice run of the mill human skull. I had some good clues...three black holes (which I at first called “three black circles” and then remembered that a nose hole is not at ALL a circle), moving parts, smooth, white-ish grey…etc.
Keep in mind I was the only one that didn’t guess the previous items correctly ( hanger and fire hydrant) because as people starting using dimensions and circumfrences and hypotonus's's and angles and stuff my brain went into math fear protection mode and cranked up the groovy sounds of a Rita Coolidge song I had listened to right before class to drown out the scary words.
Enjoy it while you read the rest of the story if you like. It's very soothing.
When I came to it was my turn to guess. For the hydrant I guessed “silo.”
For the hanger I guessed “some sort of playground equipment? or a fence?”. So it wasn’t going well for me. I leaned over and whispered to my teacher that I wasn’t very good at understanding left brain thinking sometimes. My teacher said that was just fine and not what the exercise was about so not to worry. He’s a super great guy and teacher, and yet I swear I could still feel that he was suppressing a giggle fit.
Back to the skull. No one had any clue what my picture was (except for me and the teach, of course) so he started trying to help me describe it to the class. He asked me if everyone in the room owned one of these. I said “I....think so? Wait. Oh...Yes. Yes. Everyone owns one.” The teacher and I both started sort of giggling over that answer and my face turned the color of a fire hydrant (or silo). I was laughing out of embarrassment but I suspect he was probably wondering how I was able to hold down a job, speak a human language and feed myself.
When everyone scratched their heads (that everyone in class owned) and still didn't get it, he asked what size the item was.
I replied, “About the size of a basketball”. He totally started losing it, but tried to keep his cool. I realized I may have overshot and said “a small basketball...a small one.”
Finally, after everyone was SURE it was a bowling ball I revealed the picture.
Now I’m sure it didn’t happen this way but it FELT like the entire class in unison said “The size of a BASKETBALL???!”
Then I got the kind of giggles that make my eyes water and tried to hold them in. Mercy showed herself and the class ended and I practically jogged home.
The only thing I can say is thank GOD Jason wasn’t there to break in with one of his “well Crescent does have an abnormally giant head” jokes. He probably sensed it all the way downtown at his job and doubled over with a splitting headache and vomited on the floor. His body and mind fighting through the loss of missing a "My wife's head is SO big......" opportunity.
