Wednesday, April 22, 2009


Firstly, thank you Hixx and Mark for being so great. Hearing your stories and knowing I am not alone really helps. I will take your advice.

In fact, I already have. I'm feeling like a new person this week. I think it was a combo of a wonderful game night on Friday and then a trip to Milwaukee on Saturday with Jason. Just doing different things really helped my 'tude.

Monday I worked all day with Jason at a big industry wine tasting then got to go to the fancy dinner afterwards. It felt so good to work hard and use my brain for a day! I was terrified at first because as much as I enjoy the drinking of the wines I really don't retain much info about them. I was lucky to have the support and knowledge of Jason and his co-workers though so by the middle of the day I felt like an expert on 2007 Rufina Chianti and the other three wines that I've now forgotten.

AND I got a call for a possible phone interview for an ad agency that I'm dying to work at! (bad grammar alert!) At which working at I am dying to? Dying to work at this place am I? Whatever....point is it's good news and just the little bite I needed to feel like there are good things in store.

I'm going home this weekend finally and can't wait to see my house and my street and my yard. It's going to be sunny and warm and all of us will be there at once! I plan to ride my mom's awesome brown bike all around my old haunts and will probably eat some Italian Fries from The Springville Wharf and might even hit the square for some 1.50 beers.

So thank you all for letting me have my week of poor me. I can't promise it won't happen again but today feels great and that's where I'm going to live for now.

Also I've lost almost 10 lbs just by being kind of depressed last week! Let's hear it for looking on the bright side!

Love and kisses,


Friday, April 17, 2009

Unemployment....month 2

I've hit some weird phase in this process that is making me feel like crying, literally, every second. I hate it. It's been three or four days of this and I can't shake it. I'm not like in off myself mode or anything, I just have this awful blanket feeling that I've taken pretty much all the wrong turns possible career-wise. I feel kind of dreamless and lost and embarrassed and disappointed in myself. It's a heady and unattractive brew, let me tell you. I've never wanted to be around myself less.

Oh and our new grill was stolen in the night. Obviously not a tragedy but dang. That is the SECOND time in our marriage that someone has given us a grill and then someone bad has stolen it off our property.

It's so against my nature to even TALK like this but I think maybe just being honest about it might help a little. It embarrasses me to be this down but I just am and people say that's okay so it must be. Although I want it over now. I'm tired of it and have to find a way out asap.

SO here's a list of things I'm going to try to do to feel better:
bike ride
remember how many great friends I have and that THAT is a true success
go home next week (was supposed to go this weekend but something else came up)
have fun in Milwaukee this weekend (that's what came up)
leave the house more so Jason has some time without me pouting around
don't take yourself so seriously
don't be so sensativo all the time
go to church
brush hair more
stop furrowing brow
get into a book
be thankful you have such a wonderful family and husband
try and watch some more bloopers with hats flying off and/or cats meowing words

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

What a maroon.

Oh Calaban. What would I do without you.