I've hit some weird phase in this process that is making me feel like crying, literally, every second. I hate it. It's been three or four days of this and I can't shake it. I'm not like in off myself mode or anything, I just have this awful blanket feeling that I've taken pretty much all the wrong turns possible career-wise. I feel kind of dreamless and lost and embarrassed and disappointed in myself. It's a heady and unattractive brew, let me tell you. I've never wanted to be around myself less.
Oh and our new grill was stolen in the night. Obviously not a tragedy but dang. That is the SECOND time in our marriage that someone has given us a grill and then someone bad has stolen it off our property.
It's so against my nature to even TALK like this but I think maybe just being honest about it might help a little. It embarrasses me to be this down but I just am and people say that's okay so it must be. Although I want it over now. I'm tired of it and have to find a way out asap.
SO here's a list of things I'm going to try to do to feel better:
bike ride
zoo
volunteer
remember how many great friends I have and that THAT is a true success
go home next week (was supposed to go this weekend but something else came up)
have fun in Milwaukee this weekend (that's what came up)
leave the house more so Jason has some time without me pouting around
don't take yourself so seriously
don't be so sensativo all the time
floss
go to church
brush hair more
stop furrowing brow
get into a book
be thankful you have such a wonderful family and husband
try and watch some more bloopers with hats flying off and/or cats meowing words
4 comments:
YES to physical activity and getting out in the sun... I went through 7 months of unemployment, and my bike was the only thing that got me through it last summer... well, my 3 BIKES... 2 got stolen.
While I was unemployed.
Mean people suck.
BUT... sunlight and biking and the lakefront? All good things!
The best things in life ARE free. Enjoy the summer and your husband and your family and friends. Collect unemployment, get yourself in shape mentally and physically, and before you know it you'll be fit, tan and employed once again!
If you need someone to chat with about all this, give me a holler or drop me a line.
*HUG!*
Mark
Yup, I'm with Hendo. Take this time to do all those things you want to do if you all this time.
One thing that really helped me was to spend every day like I want to spend it for the rest of my life. I would get a good nights sleep, exercise in the morning, write a little, work a little, eat a good lunch, maybe take that bike ride, come home and write a little, work a little and then rest and hang out.
Good things are going to come from this! But you have to dig them up.
I am going to add one thing to your list for when I am back from my trip.
Take tap class with Erica.
Joel Hall has tap classes Saturdays at 11am and they are pay as you go or you can get a 5 class pass or something. So therefore, we don't losr money if we are out of town, and we can go whenever we are free. I think there is also one Tuesday nights or something.
We will go.
I am thinking about you and loving you!
Erica! Yes for sure! I'm dying to do that. Saturdays work well and so do Tuesdays actually. We must chat when you get home. have a great trip!
Love you!
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