Thursday, September 16, 2010


I know what it was. It was that I went to LUSH at Macy's yesterday to get a new shampoo bar and had an attack of my old "I feel out of place in a fancy store" itis.

The 94 lb woman came over and said "can I help you?" as they tend to do and I said "oh not really...I just need a shampoo bar" (proceed to pick up display bar and knock about 20 over onto the floor)

Then when I went to pay I followed her behind the register for some reason. When I realized where I was I said "Ooop! sorry." not "oops" like a semi-normal person, but "oop."

see? Profound.

But PS? the yellow shampoo bar at Lush RULES. It was worth the bumbling.

A Couple Fat Ankle Steps in the Right Direction

My ankles are swoll to the EN, man. It's from my blood pressure meds but it's nuts. They look like balloons.

Anyway, I am finally going to talk to someone just to get some profesh listening. I just feel a little extra anxious and want to work on that. So good work, me.

I also purchased a work out t. That outta do it! 130 lbs here I come! hahahah just kidding.

My mom is hanging in there. First two days post her first chemo and she's not feeling fantastic, obvs, but not too bad. I hope it stays that way. I'm sending her my fanciest wig tomorrow.

I really really wish I could just do all this for her. I know how it works and stuff and know there's a light at the end. BUT this is what's happening and I have to deal with that. She is tough and my dad is amazing and my sisters rule. It will all be okay. I mean it won't be because I've learned that nothing is ever ALWAYS okay. Life is going to be bad a lot and good a lot. I'm trying to just embrace the chaos and hope it makes sense someday. I feel like it will.

In other news, I'm going to church with my sister on Sunday. If you hear on the news that someone burst into flames upon entering a Wisconsin UCC can have my carnival mirror collection if that happens.

I had a lot to say last night in my head and have forgotten most of it. I'm sure it was exceptionally profound and important. Probably more about my ankles.


Tuesday, September 14, 2010


that's how i'm feeling. i don't even want to capitilize today. mom had her first treatment. they have to do 16 now instead of 6 because they found more spread to her nodes. three instead of one.

our good friend's dog is sick and another good friend has a sick cat. both have a few weeks left. that makes me saaaaaaad.

i found some gum i really like. that's good.

*shoulder shrug*