Thursday, September 16, 2010

OH!

I know what it was. It was that I went to LUSH at Macy's yesterday to get a new shampoo bar and had an attack of my old "I feel out of place in a fancy store" itis.

The 94 lb woman came over and said "can I help you?" as they tend to do and I said "oh not really...I just need a shampoo bar" (proceed to pick up display bar and knock about 20 over onto the floor)

Then when I went to pay I followed her behind the register for some reason. When I realized where I was I said "Ooop! sorry." not "oops" like a semi-normal person, but "oop."

see? Profound.

But PS? the yellow shampoo bar at Lush RULES. It was worth the bumbling.

A Couple Fat Ankle Steps in the Right Direction

My ankles are swoll to the EN, man. It's from my blood pressure meds but it's nuts. They look like balloons.

Anyway, I am finally going to talk to someone just to get some profesh listening. I just feel a little extra anxious and want to work on that. So good work, me.

I also purchased a work out t. That outta do it! 130 lbs here I come! hahahah just kidding.

My mom is hanging in there. First two days post her first chemo and she's not feeling fantastic, obvs, but not too bad. I hope it stays that way. I'm sending her my fanciest wig tomorrow.

I really really wish I could just do all this for her. I know how it works and stuff and know there's a light at the end. BUT this is what's happening and I have to deal with that. She is tough and my dad is amazing and my sisters rule. It will all be okay. I mean it won't be because I've learned that nothing is ever ALWAYS okay. Life is going to be bad a lot and good a lot. I'm trying to just embrace the chaos and hope it makes sense someday. I feel like it will.

In other news, I'm going to church with my sister on Sunday. If you hear on the news that someone burst into flames upon entering a Wisconsin UCC Church.....well....you can have my carnival mirror collection if that happens.

I had a lot to say last night in my head and have forgotten most of it. I'm sure it was exceptionally profound and important. Probably more about my ankles.

Love,
C

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.............

that's how i'm feeling. i don't even want to capitilize today. mom had her first treatment. they have to do 16 now instead of 6 because they found more spread to her nodes. three instead of one.

our good friend's dog is sick and another good friend has a sick cat. both have a few weeks left. that makes me saaaaaaad.

i found some gum i really like. that's good.

*shoulder shrug*

love,
c