Monday, November 27, 2006

Sweet Holy Crap.

Moving is truly and officially...un-fun.

I don't have much time...for the kitchen is currently mocking me with more packing that needs to be done.

I just want this moment down in this blog so that when it is all done, which it will be, I can look back at this and feel that freaky kind of happy that only comes with the relief of a move coming to completion.

That's the closest to the brighter side I can get at this moment.


Tuesday, November 21, 2006

I'm thankful for....

...any moving boxes you can spare.

I'm going home tomorrow to see my family and I can't wait, but somewhere in the back of my pea brain all I can hear is...."you are moving next week. you only have a few boxes. you need to scheudule movers. you CAN'T schedule movers because you won't have the cash. you need to call your landlady and ask her for a payment plan. your landlady won't go for that...nooo no can do."

And don't even get me started on my work related evil voice.

BUT I'm going to shake that all off and enjoy my time with my family. Plus they always put everything into hilarious perspective. That is one of about a million things that makes them the best. I am crazy excited to hug and kiss them all and then eat food until I can't breath normally.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone and make sure to tell people that you love them and are greatful for them. This holiday is as good a time as any.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Dreams Dreams the Magical Fruit....

When I was little....about 3-5 really...I had a reoccurring nightmare that my babysitter was actually a wild boar in overalls but no one would believe me. There are deep and dark reasons for this but we won't go there since this is the Brighter Side and all that.

Anyway, last night, for the first time in YEARS I dreamed about a wild boar again! I was riding in a car with family? friends? strangers? I can't remember for the life of me, but what I DO remember is a giant boar jumping through the windshield and landing on me. I was trying not to panic but was flipping my lid. Someone came in and finally pulled him/her off of me and I woke up. Now where in the Sam Hell did THAT dream come from? Moving stress? Repressed something or other? I don't know, but it sure was scary.

I also dreamed a PERFECT cell phone commercial for t.v. It had a theme song and everything. It took place in a life size doll house made of all steel beams and every member of the family was isolated in their rooms talking on their cell phones in angry tones. The song that played through out was called "One Big Happy Family" but was really punky/metally sounding. It was the coolest. I don't know what demographic that dream phone company was aiming for, but I do know that all the angry punk Barbie's and dysfunctional families out there will be on dream board.

Boar....d. See? Never doubt my ability to bring it all back around.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

good LORD!

So one more post today. It's a quick one. Just to illustrate my point further.

I just fell off my scale (if I keep it at home I weigh my self too much) at my desk and was mid conversation with a co-worker and simultaneously THREW the phone in the air knocking over my pencil cup and landed on my ass. It made SUCH a ruckus that three other co-workers in the area came running over to see what happened. Just my work.


The Plunge Into Madness....

Good things are happening in my life. Jason's new job, a possible promotion for me in the works, we move into a much nicer and bigger apt in a couple weeks....ahh...should be feeling a peace. But I'm me, so instead I am having one of my chicken little episodes where the smallest things are stressing me out so badly because things are so great. Does that make sense? No? Well eat it. It's just how I feel.

The thing about it all is that I am bumbly by design. There's just no two ways about it. I am clumsy and bumbly and when stressed this little quirk of mine (I'm gonna let it shine) gets amped up from bumbly to total walking disaster.

All I wanted to do last night was go home, put on tenners, walk to Jewel to cash in our huge jar of change, come home, enjoy a frozen diet dinner and watch my backed up episodes of Jericho. But NOOOOOOOOOooooooo......

(This is the part that my dear friend Matt leans in closer to the computer screen and evilly rubs his hands together in anticipation of the antics I am about to relive through the written word.)

I leave work. Train is running 45 minutes late. Fine. I can deal with that. It DOES throw off my schedule a bit but I'm flexible.

Finally get home around 7:30 walk into the apartment and immediately slip and fall and crack my back on the book shelf. Now slipping on nothing happens to me all the time but THIS time I had slipped in something. It was cat barf. I cleaned up that little gift and then went into the bathroom to pee and I find MORE cat barf. (the barfing cat is fine now just so no one worries....he just has a delicate constitution).

I get the last of the paper towels, t.p. and a sponge and clean it up. I then put a wad of toilet paper in the toilet and flush. All of a sudden OVERFLOW!!! OVERFLOW!!! Toilet water EVERYWHERE....unstoppable, cascading toilet water. I grab all the old towels I can and clean it up. Then I try our crappy Walgreen's plunger. The rubber top breaks off. At this point I stopped and took a deep breath and decided to go get a new plunger and cash in those coins.

In my bumbly frustration I decide to use a garbage bag for the 100 lbs of coinage. I dumped them all into the bag and put THAT bag into my messenger bag. Walking 7 blocks with the extra weight was good exercise but man.....I thought I might die at one point.

Got to Jewel, head to the Coinstar my bag aaaaaaannnnnd the garbage broke so all my coins started spilling everywhere in the store. I finally got them all into the machine. (the total was $143.02 for those of you who were wondering.)

I buy the LAST plunger they have and a frozen diet dinner and walk back home feeling much more positive about it all.

I'm no slouch when it comes to plumbing, just so you know. I was known for my ability to fix toilets with nothing more than a toothpick and a good attitude back in the day. So I was feeling cocky about my ability to plunge out this clog. I plunged and plunged and then flushed. OVERFLOW!!! again.

Meanwhile two fire trucks and an ambulance have pulled up in front of my building. I'm thinking they were either called after a call from a concerned neighbor who heard my tirade of profanity during the first overflow OR my building is on fire. Luckily it was neither. I think it was a false alarm. But the flashing lights and sirens did not help my stress level.

I STILL have to pee, mind you. My phone wasn't working so I couldn't call anyone for help. I decided to call it a night. I took a shower, skipped my dinner on the off chance that it didn't agree with me on a night when I was toilet-less, and watched two episodes of Jericho.

At least I was better off than those poor post nuclear war survivors. That was comforting.
PS - And yes, we had to pee in the bathtub during the night....which I think Jason actually thought was kind of fun. I did not.