Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Post Holiday Post.

We had a great holiday, of course. The only thing you need to know is this:

On our way to Madison it was blizzarding like mad and as joke Jason rolled down my window. Ha ha ha. Then the window never went back up. It was stuck. Totally stuck all the way down.

We tried to tape a garbage bag over it but the second we hit the highway it was sucked out the window.

We had an hour left in our drive IN THE SLEET AND SNOW. I put on all my packer outdoor gear and Jason made up Christmas songs and commercial jingles to pass the time.

Once we got to my sister's Jason and Jon (brother in law) had to take off the door panel and finally were able to get the window back up, thank jeebus.

That is all. I just don't want to forget that story because it was classic Jason and Crescent and for some weird reason made me love him even more.


Thursday, December 18, 2008

Don't blog with your mouth full...

What? I'm sorry I didn't catch that....did you ask "so Crescent, how much weight have you lost?"? You did? Oh well I hate to blog out of school but I've lost TEN POUNDS mutha flippaz!!!!! I'm very excited. I can't really see it yet but I can feel it, if that makes sense. I don't feel so "OW! MY KNEES!" or "DAMN! MY BACK!" as I did before. I have a long way to go (35 more lbs) but damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

SO in light of that I treated myself to the Smart Ones ravioli Florentine today along with my salad of carrots and greens (has anyone seen the dog whisperer South Park where Cartman is all changed and says "don't worry mother...I'm simply having a breakfast of lean ham and melon" or something like that? Anyway, that's how I read that last line in my head voice.)

I gotta say, these Smart Ones are winning the race and my heart.

What it's supposed to look like:

What it really looks like:

Oh.....whoops. Sorry about that. But I guess that will serve as my rating for today.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Walk a few feet in my shoes.

In the past 20 minutes I have:

  • Learned how to set up a video conference with laptop capabilities.
  • Seen a horrible image of how I look on a video conference in this outfit and with my hair not really "done" that I shant soon forget.
  • Had a stomach emergency (due to stupid Lean Cuisine Stir Fry bowl. I'm not even blogging about it I'm so mad)
  • Dumped hot coffee all over my front. I shall smell of work coffee for the rest of my days.
  • Dumped MORE hot coffee all over the floor trying to get it into a carafe'.
  • McGuyver'd that shiz by figuring out a way to get the coffee out of the giant dispenser and into the carafe' via a measuring cup in a timely manner WHILE enduring possible 7th degree front of body burns.
  • LOUDLY dropped an ice cube pincher in the middle of a meeting
  • Found out the meeting I was REALLY worried about setting up tomorrow is being taken care of by someone else....which honestly makes the last 20 minutes totally worth it.
  • Someone is going to sleep like a champ tonight.

Monday, December 15, 2008


I also have fallen into a crazed hysterical lust with THIS product.

It tastes just like you are eating a giant Asian salad even though it was only carrots and greens. AND it's one calorie a squirt! (I think the preferred nomenclature is "spray" but I gotta be me).

Paul Newman's dressings in general are the best around.....nothing is gonna EVER keep them down. Not even DEATH!

.......too soon?

A dark horse...

I may have found my frozen diet meal love of a lifetime. We are talking about maybe getting a little place together in the burbs (I typed the burps the first time....that too) and buying a few pure bred dogs and cars. We are THAT in love.
What's it's supposed to look like:

What it REALLLLLY looks like:

This is the one you guys. The chicken is perfectly cooked and tastes like an actual chicken breast as opposed to most frozen chicken dishes. The sauce was like some awesome divey Italian restaurant with Chianti bottle candles on the tables and checkered bibs to wear. The NOODLES....dear god...the noodles. They are fat like an opera singer and tasty like an...um....thing that tastes good. (BOOOO!!! Audience throws tomatoes at my head).

Morgan (hi Morgie!) and I hit the Jewel last night and she talked me into some diet frozen lunch risks. I usually only get Lean Cuisine but I gotsta tell you......Smart Ones might just have my number.

Rating: making out on the pier with this lunch and forgetting to go to bio lab.

Friday, December 12, 2008

"Give it a minute....it's going to SPACE!"

I stole this from another blog but it's perfect. Jason you will extra love this.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Lasagna.....Guest blogger Fabio from Top Cheeef!

What it supposed to look a'like:
What it a' REEAly look a'like:

How it taste!: Just'a like a'the real ting! (Kisses fingers and says "MUAH! Deliciousio!" and tosses a pizza pie up in the air and catches it and winks)

What I give dis: Many keeeses on a'your'a face! 9.5! (winks again)

Thanks Fabio. You are a REAL Italian and a national treasure.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Cool new feature!

So it's finally happened. I'm on Weight Watchers and it's going very well actually. I'm down 5 lbs in 2 weeks and not feeling TOO homicidal.

Anyway, I thought I'd rate my frozen diet lunches a few times a week because EVERYONE wants to know about dis!!!!! Right? Right.
Today's Lunch: Lean Cuisine Sesame Stir Fry with Chicken
Points: 6
What it's supposed to look like:

What it ACTUALLY looks like:

How it tastes: Pretty decent. The little beans are sad and dry but the noodles are good and let's face it....that's what I'm in it for. If I can't lose weight by going home and eating a giant pan full of buttered noodles with cheese then I need some noodle in my day to day.

Rating on a scale of 1-5 (1 being "you kept me from punching people today, dear lunch" and 5 being "Why can't you be more like Big Mac, you failure."):

3.5 I just wish there was more of you. Like five more servings. Plus the chicken ooged me out a few times.
Tune in tomorrow for one of my all time favorites.....Lasagna. It's little but it almost makes you not want to eat your hand.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Thanks! Giving!


We had the best Thanksgiving weekend of all time. Seriously. OF ALL TIME!!!
In other news....I had a dream last night that I was on a reality show again. This time the challenge was to jog in place for 3 hours. I knew I was going to lose and started crying. I hate reality show cryers, but there I was. Bawling and knowing I was going to be kicked off. I woke up before the elimination but I bet if I would have stayed asleep I would have said "You haven't seen the last of Crescent. I'm not here to make friends. They threw me under the bus."
I had a great dream about Leona's though so that made up for it.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


I'm alive and fine. Just haven't felt inspired to write this week. I HAVE felt inspired to get home, take a shower, put on jammies and watch tv with Jason and my cat. Winter I tells ya. It sucks you into the cozies right quick.

Thanksgiving is coming up (don't know if you'd heard) so I will have lots of fun pics from that trip home. I'm very homesick so I'm counting the minutes.

Um and....well...I think that's, sadly, it for now. I'm going to go home and put on my jammies now.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


My new "friend" Jasmine (or maybe arch nemsis after this) just tried to murder me with this video.


Now, not only do I have to have a baby but NOW it's gotta be a french baby!

Mon deu or however that's spelled.


Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Happy Voting!!!!

I'm about to leave work and navigate through the crazy rally traffic. I'm excited to see it actually. I'll try and get some pics before I get on the train.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

More pics and an announcment

No not that.

So the Movie Dare Experience is still on. We've been crazy busy but I'm hoping that Jason and Matt can attend BHC sometime this weekend. Then I have been dared to see HS3 (shudder). Then Fred is lined up to see Bolt. So don't lose faith. I just promised the boys that the BHC review could be first to get the ball rolling.

more weekend pics.

Ladies day. the boys golfed and we played in pillows. How cliche'.
Cutest besties ever.
Me and Natalia. Owwww......my insides ache from her baby-ness.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Oooo baby do you know what that's worth?

My Michigan weekend was heaven on earth. You heard me. I just made a Belinda Carlisle bit on my blog. That's just something you have to live with.

Perfect weekend. Pictures to prove it.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Rudd, Rudd, RUDD!

All Rudd....all the time. Holy crap everyone. He is like 1000 times more handsome in person and about a trillion times more charming. Totally all I ever dreamed he'd be.

The following exchange took place. I just copied this from an email exchange I had with Matt to save time. It's a busy day.

I asked how it was working with the kids and if they were ballbusters
or sweet and he said they were great and went into how since it's such
an adult movie that they had to shoot some of the scenes with the kids
without the kids in the room and like how there was all this legal
stuff and child services and stuff to protect the kids because it's a
really adult movie in most ways and then he said that sometimes they
would be improvising and forget the kids were there and like totally
swear and then they would get in trouble and he goes "because I guess we like...."
and then at the same time we both said "broke some laws" and he
totally laughed and I almost died.

Thursday, October 09, 2008


I forgot to mention that Jason has recruited Matthew K. to attend the movie and also be interviewed.

Please forgive this error.

The Brighter Side

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Thirty FOUR the love of God.

I'm finally 34. Excitement!

It's been a great birthday week so far. Lots of friends and drinks and food and fun. Tonight is Project Runway and pizza. Friday is a day off for cleaning our apartment in prep for my family arriving on Saturday and Saturday is for that. My family. I'm very excited.

This year I plan to:
enjoy myself some more.
try to lose the rest of this weight
and other things.

How's THAT for a to do list? Just the way I like it. Vague and open for change. Just like me.

In other news my advice blog didn't really take. Only one person needed my help so for now I'm holding off on that. BUT stay tuned for a new feature called....


The first edition will be next week. I dared Jason to see Beverly Hills Chihuahua and he accepted. He will pay for a better movie so they don't get our money but will be watching BHC and reporting back to me.

Stay tuned.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Things that are only funny to me probably.

Time: 10pm last night.
Place: bed

Jason: Whoa it's dark in here.
Jason: Crescent! You're yelling! (laughing)
Jason: (laughing) Crescent Crescent. You are shouting.
Crescent: okay...well I'm going to sleep anyway.
Jason: Okay goodnight then.
Crescent: GOOD NIGHT!

Then an eblow fight ensued which Jason won when I gave in due to him charlie horsing my back.

Time: Today
Place: the internet

FRED: that noseberry picture is quite great
like actually artistically great

Crescent: Gena took it
i love it

FRED: hahahaha
that night was nuts
How was gena even there?
I dont remember her being there

Crescent: maybe I just had the nose in my purshe

FRED: purshe

Crescent: It’s funny cuz you can hear me saying it that way.


Crescent: ah! that man stole my purshe!

FRED: its like how people say Porshe differently

Crescent: hhahahahaha

FRED: Por SHAH, Porsh, Por Shay

PUR shay

Crescent: hahahahhaha

FRED: i hate when my spelling inadvertantly causes another joke when I was killing with the original joke

Crescent: but look on the bright side
it usually leads to a whole new joke
Our Shay
sounds like a catholic school
Our Shay of the bloody christ

FRED: Our Shay Lounger is better than the average Chez Lounger
even tho its HALF the price!
Don't tell anyone!

Crescent: hahahahahhahaha
don't tell anyone

FRED: like I'm hiding a CZ instead of a diamond

Crescent: hahahahahahhaah

FRED: Shay or Chez? can you even tell?
I didn't think so
We use only the finest furniture sweatshops in Burma which use only the healthiest orphans to make our fine Shay Loungers

Crescent: hahahahahahahahahah

FRED: why Shay loungers is funny to me right now is so stupidly beyond me
I mean...who but us expand on a bad spelling joke like this?
in my head the shay vs chez lounger sketch just saved Saturday Night Live from cancellation and spawned our movie careers.
How effing Shay is that?

Monday, September 29, 2008


I'm slammed at work today.

But here is what I did this weekend.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Over IT.

I want out of this building and away from this job for the weekend. It's really been a very 9 to 5 esque day.

Also if one more person tells me or, even worse, ASKS me what I'm eating for lunch....I don't know what.

"That looks healthy! Salad!"

"What is that? A sandwich and salad?"


Excited for a friend's wedding on a boat though. I just hope my Madmen cocktail dress isn't too much. Everyone keeps saying it's not but I'm still nerved out about it.

In a final act of defiance I'm not spell checking this post. I hope HOPE I spelled defiance wrong.

Monday, September 08, 2008

Another trip to Wisconsin

We went to my sister's house for my brother in law's birthday and a belated b-day celebration for Jason.

I took this picture while Jason was listening to a story my dad was telling and think it might be the handsomest picture of Jason I've ever seen.

It's too bad my family doesn't laugh very much.

I love when my mom does that....laughs so hard she clasps her hands in front of her like that. It slays me. It's like when my oldest sister slaps her knee when she's laughing super hard. THAT kills me too. (I don't have a picture of her doing that because she was taking most of these pics). My brother in law was doing his spot on McCain impersonation.
It's ALSO a down right crying shame that Smokey the cat hates bags so much.

Friday, September 05, 2008

Country Mouse

We are back from the woods. We had a great time with J's parents and did lots of bloody mary drinking, dominoes playing, wood chopping, wood hauling and fishing.

More pics to come once I get my cheapo bad for the environment disposable cameras developed.

We had an old school fish fry here. Nimrod's. That name!

The traditional Nimrod's bar bear.

The greatest pic of B.F. EVER! His middle name is Lorenzo. Come on.

How the Nimrod's fill a wine glass. My kind of joint.

Jason in Matt's giant golf shoes.

An awesome swingin rope.

Possibly my favorite picture of Jason ever. I'm not even going to explain it. Just enjoy the Ray Charles-ey goodness.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Da Nort Woods.

So tomorrow, at the b-crack, Jason and I head up to the middle of nowhere Wisconsin for a week of fishing, relaxing, hiking and visiting with his wonderful parents. Oh and drinking cans of beer on the water, which I highly recommend.

The cool thing is since it's so far up north we will already get to see some fall colors which I LIVE for.

I'll post lots of pics when I get back. We may actually use a real camera this time instead of my POS phone camera.

Alright, take it easy Chicago!