Word of caution to any fellow breast cancer survivors out there on the delightful little estrogen blocker drug known as Tamoxifin, or Tammy for short. She seems harmless but she'll getcha. Don't think you can causally skip a dose just because there is a blizzard in your city that cancels your work therefore making you forget things due to sheer glee.
Here is a list of side effects that will occur if you do this:
1. You will experience bouts of murdery feelings that cause you to, literally, say "grrrrrrr" a lot.
2. The aforementioned murdery feelings may also lead to extreme foul language whispered under your breath and inopportune times.
3. Your eyes will get puffy for some unknown medical/science type reason causing everyone to ask you "what's wrong?" or "have you been sobbing?" You will answer "NO!" in a murdery voice and proceed to try NOT to murder them. This will not be easy.
4. When you are finally able to rest your weary murder head down on the pillow you will be bombarded with bi-hourly hot flashes that will drench you in sweat then cause you to freeze to death because your husband can't sleep without a fan on. This will repeat all night long.
5. Noodles will become a monkey on your back.
Please follow your doctors orders (I typed "odors" the first time..hahahah....MOOD SWING!) and take this medicine as directed....every day....at the same time......for five.....years. God help us all.
*SIDENOTE ADDED LATER: I can't blame Jason for the fan. I love it too. There. I did the right thing and was honest. I think we've all learned some valuable lessons here today that we won't soon forget.
5 comments:
sounds lovely. i like the word murdery.
It's oddly the ONLY word that works to explain these feelings. I like it too!
i want to say something but no words come. it's like that feeling of laughing REALLY hard, and then there's a pause as you realize the gravity of the situation in which the laughter occurred.
i'm livin' in the pause.
love you.
noodles.
Oh Steph. I live in and for the pause as well. It's what life is about! I like it deep and hilarious. Like a swimming pool full of rubber chickens...or Police Squad DVDs.
And I don't mean The Pause as in The Big Change. I've got a few good years left. I mean, I'll be 40 in 20 days, but surely I've got some life in the old... well, you know.
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