I HATE Vacations on the Beach!

Just kidding. We had a magical time and I wish I were back there in our fancy room drinking fancy wine and looking at the fancy ocean right now.

I have a tan for once so that's kind of cool in a pre-cancerous kind of way.

It's starting to itch. Are tans supposed to itch? Mine does. Or maybe that's just work.

Here are few pics.

Oh swell. It's not letting me add more pictures. What is that about? I'll fix YOU blog!!!!
Fix you good!

GD~!!!!! Something is wrong with my compy. Stay tuned for pics tomorrow.

Beach Beach Beach Beach

That's all I can think of. We leave tomorrow afternoon. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! That's all I can say. I'm just so looking forward to tanning my fat areas to make them look thinner. I kid, I kid. "If you can't lose it, tan it." Hahahahha. Some lady at work told me they used to say that in the 80's a lot. I don't know if that's true but it cracks me up. Sadly since I am so fair skinned and prone to ER worthy sunburns I am going armed with two bottles of sunblock.

All I have left to do is pack, which should be colorful since I'm taking pretty much every clothing item I have just in case.

We have our company summer party today starting at noon so my vacation officially begins then. It's whirlyball again. Sooo much fun but I've got to be careful. Jason will kill me if I'm on crutches for this vacation.

Yur A Peein' Zombies!!!

This is a short nightmare post. I dreamed that I was sitting on my couch working on some writing (yeah right) and I heard a water running noise coming from the other room. I went in there and a freakishly tall zombie was peeing BLOOD on my wall!!!!!! What do you say about THAT??? BUT it turns out that some big publisher or something saw it happening and realized it was in my dream and said he would pay me "upwards of 1 million dollars" for the idea. I don't think I really know what upwards means in that context but I pretended I did.

I've been reading a bunch of stuff on Italian horror movies even though I will NEVER EVER see any of them because of the gore, but for some reason I like to read up on stuff like that. Movie reviews and all that. Anyway, I'm sure that's why I had that dream. I woke up to every hair on my head standing up though, I'll tell you that much.


PS - This is a day of wonder and magic. I just realized that this is the first post I've ever had an error free spell check run on. Usually I have upwards of about 50 mispellings before I post but not today!

I Shoot, I Score.

About a year or so ago I dropped a cashew down my cleavage and told EVERYONE because I thought it was so funny. Well it's not so funny anymore. Today I dropped one in there for the sixth time in about 5 months and said aloud to myself "OH for GOD'S SAKE Crescent!" (I sounded just like my mother too by the way, she said those words a lot as you can imagine).

Seriously though, that seems excessive. I don't drop any other nuts or berries or food stuffs down there. Just cashews. And as I eat them I can almost FEEL it happen before it does and it's like some crazy nuthin but net shot every time. Whoosh....right down the middle without even hitting the sides. Then I have to dig around in there and shake my shirt while hunched under my desk, hiding my nutty shame. The ironic thing is I can't make a basket, putt a golf ball into a hole, shoot pool or really make ANY kind of item in target EVER! But apparently I'm the Michael Jordan of cashew cleavage ball.

I'm A Damn Whippet.

I don't even get this but I do know I'm way behind on the game. I guess you guys can go in and answer questions about me and my daemon thing might change. Help me be a tiger or something cool, please. I don't wanna be a whippet. *sniff*

Happy Birthday Matt!!!

So glad we got to have such a fun night! I have amazing friends and you are certainly one of the best. This video is for you.....and eventually Elizabeth too!

I get to go HERE!!!!

Good Lord. I can hardly keep my head on straight. So, Jason has been invited to this majestic resort in Laguna, CA (winks at Hixx....you know how extra excited I am, don't you dollface). He's going to be doing some training for a wine bar at this hotel and they are paying for BOTH of us to come out there for FOUR days!!!!!!!!! We have never been on a vacation together besides our honeymoon in Door County, WI (which was lovely, don't get me wrong) so this is truly the coolest news ever. We are both losing our minds with excitment. My plan between now and then is to stop eating and try to tan my Powder white legs. Oh and I need a swimming suit. And a couple sun dresses. And some shoes.

I am the luckiest girl in the land!!!

Ambrosssssiaaaahhhhh

I don't know how this whole business started but this is today's office flashback video winner. Eva's pick. Try not to groove and jam. I am thinking of changing my middle name to 70's soft rock. Legally. It just feels oh so right.





I'll tell you what, David Pack has some flipping PIPES on him! He sings about "a wife" and what not but this album cover might tell a different story. Or maybe the bass player just had a few shooters before this photo shoot. I get huggy after shooters too.

I bet all their hair smells like Agree Shampoo. Sighhh.

Make a wish baby....

Hot Tub Party Funtime Weekend!!

Jason and I spent the weekend in Madison at my oldest sister's house and enjoyed their new hot tub. It was the best. Here is the view from said hot tub if you put your head back.

Plus it was just a really wonderful visit with my sisters and brother in law and nephew and parents and Jason. It's been a long time since he's been able to join me on a weekend trip. I told him how glad I was to have him there because when I go by myself I have a great time, but am always a little homesick for him. My dad gave him his old GPS system for the car so we took an "alternate route" home. It took us through old timey Stoughton, WI so Jason found a radio station that was playing music from the 30's. It was hilarious.

Speaking of being homesick for Jason, I leave tomorrow at the butt-crack of dawn for NYC for work. I'll be there for four days so I'll miss J and the cats but at least I'll have Eva with me. We are both really excited to enjoy that city. I have been there a bunch but always get super excited stomach when I get to go back.

Before I "start spreading the news" I have two more pics from the weekend to hold you over until I get back.

This is Smokey (my sister's cat)squishing out of a laundry basket.

We picked Fred up on our way back into the city and we all went for lunch. We challenged Fred to create a gourmet looking plate with his dips and pita. Not bad for a first try! He was allowed to use anything on the table. The vinegar on the tomato didn't turn out how he'd hoped but none the less...pretty gourmet. Or almost.

He calls this piece "The Perfect Bite".

All You Can Eat Shrimp Saves the Day!

Jason had an off day yesterday too so we decided to go eat at Glen's Diner on Montrose. We get there and it's ALL YOU CAN EAT PEEL AND EAT SHRIMP DAY!!!! It turned it around for us. We started having the best time ever. Laughing hysterically at pretty much everything. Eating plate after plate of garlic shrimp and then finally made the brave decision to try the spicy Cajun shrimp. I had about two before it felt like my lips were going to fry off. But Jason persevered and truly ate all he could eat.

Here he is with his FingerBowl brand wet wipes and a mouth on fire. I told him to make a spicy face.

THAT LOOKS VERY SPICY!!!!!

And here is our table looking like war torn Kosovo at the end of the meal.

THAT'S A VERY MESSY TABLE!!!

My point is we had a really fun night and sometimes that's all you need to get out of a funk. At least it works for Jason and me.

Oh and I ended up having SO much fun that I left my purse on the chair and didn't realize it until I was trying to head out to work this morning. I had to work from home until they opened up at 11 this morning. But it was a nice little turn of events because I had the most relaxing morning and a nice walk and an empty air conditioned train ride into work....I really can't complain. THERE's something new!!! Ahhh...I think that means my whiny week has come to a close and I'm back to my normal "life is good" self.

Have a great weekend!!!

Pobresita.

I don't know if it was that special on the Mayan doomsday calendar that I watched the other night (FYI we are all done for December of 2012 so....you know get your affairs in order and stuff) or if it's really early PMS but I am just so.....ugh or blah or wahhhh or something. Feeling sorry for myself about nothing which annoys the piss out of me. I hate that quality in others and hate it even more when it sneaks up on me about twice a year. Everything is great and fine and good but something is just off inside me this week. I think the main issue is that I have no idea how to be what I want to be. Or maybe I'm not sure what that is yet or something. I want to write but I also want enough money to get a couch and some rugs. These seem like small things but they are indicative of bigger struggles inside I think. I kind of just don't want to be an assistant anymore. But I'm really good at it so here I sit...broken hearted...came to be a famous blogger but only farted. hahahahaha.....that kind of just cheered me up. Fart jokes...is there ANYTHING they CAN'T do?

My good friend and co-worker, Eva, has been in the same boat kind of this week so that's actually been a great help. Yesterday one of the printers was beeping over and over and over and we had this exchange:

Eva - "Hey Guy, you're a doctor, right?"
Me (aka Guy) - "Not certified but yes. What's up?"
Eva - "Is there a disorder or illness that makes you want to kill someone when you hear repetitive loud noises?.....Or is that just mild depression?"

It cracked me up for a good hour. We decided it was the latter.

BUT I had a great time last night at Jason's softball game and have nothing to do tonight except relax and drink some wine on the porch so I'll snap out of it.

AND the guy next to me has the funniest sneeze ever. It sounds so angry. It rules.

PLUS it's Retro Music Video Thursday in my dept. and I won! The objective is to blow each other's minds with an old video from our childhoods. Here was my pick, which was just announced as the winner!



Here was the runner up which is also pretty rad:



and the bronze goes to:




All delightful memories. Okay I feel a lot better now.

8 things.

I hate mememememe's or whatever they are called. The name itself makes me feel car sick. But I'm also in a crappy mood so I'm extra negativo today.

Okay so Biddle asked me to do this meme and he is a friend so I'll comply.

8 things about your childhood that people don't know or something.

1. I never sucked my thumb or used a pacifier.
2. I cried whenever my Dad would talk about his travels because I pictured him alone and it bothered me. He was fine with it but one mention of him eating dinner and I would say..."Who did you have dinner with?" and he'd say "Nobody" and then I'd bawl my head off and they'd have to explain to me that he wasn't lonely on those trips. It made me mad at his job.
3. I was in a local runway show for O'shkoshbygosh which ended up being my first leg shave day as well.
4. I think I hold the national record for most goose eggs on my head in one season. I could list them all but I'm not going to. Just know they all were from me thinking I could do something I could not do. Result....giant goose egg.
5. I started up a protection service where I would walk home the smaller boys that had bully problems. I was bigger so the bullies left me alone and the wee boys got home safely. I did this free of charge but a lot of the guys would give me homemade cards or donuts as thanks.
6. The first time I tried a shrimp cocktail all the shrimp were totally uncooked but I didn't know they weren't supposed to be gray and didn't want to bother anyone so I ate two before anyone at the table noticed. They sent it back and I tried again that same night with cooked shrimp and have loved them ever since.
7. I drank half a bottle of Joy dish washing soap once. Nothing really happened except I got in a little trouble. And maybe my insides were streak free and spotless.
8. I had a giant birthday party for my favorite stuffed bear, Oliver, every fall when the first really windy day happened (that was how I knew it was his b-day for some weird reason). Like the kind where the wind actually howls. My parents let me take over the living room on those days and take the couches and chair cushions to make the party room.

Okay now I have to "tag" 8 people.
I tag:
Howard Jones
Whitney Houston
That's So Raven
Totaro
the entire 79 Chicago Cubs (counts as one)
that annoying girl from the Welch's commercials
Shakira
the cycles from CHiPs

PROOF!

I am not sure I've ever EVER taken such a bad picture but I was very very excited. Tracey the cat looks great though. In spite of her illness she's very photogenic. God. I can hardly even look at this picture....I look so very...special. I always flip my lid over celebs but Party of Five was like my everything during college and Bailey was my main man. PLUS after this picture was taken we all went out and he and his wife are so sweet and real and smart and great. I know I've said that already but, again, I'm a little excitable ever since that trip.

man. I'm obsessing about the badness again. The thing that really blows is the fact that I looked super cute that night and had just discovered via a friend's scale that I've lost 15 lbs. BUT I was all freaked out and it was freezing in L.A. so I had to wear my gross sweatshirt over my cute shirt and if I just had remembered how giant my face looks when I smile that big I would've held back a little.....dammit. I am reverse vain or something. I'll try and let it go in 3......2.....1. Done.

Have a good weekend little ones!

Auto-mo-beeel?????

That's right. We got a car. How adult are we? Very is the answer. Very adult.

So my jet setting May is finally done and I get a few weeks of recovery to prepare for the big NYC trip at the end of June. I'll do a quick re-cap.

Philly - Thought I would be bored but I loved it! Beautiful buildings, nice people, delicious beer. This is the only picture I think I have of Philly sadly. Oh no wait! I have more. Please hold (Rainy Days and Mondays Muzak version plays)......okay found them!

So this is a cool old graveyard.

This is my favorite Philly pic. It's a cool bunch of buildings in the South Street hood.

Okay on to Dallas.

Dallas was the friendliest but hardest to get around and hardest to find a sundries stores ala CVS/Walgreen's/Target.

The Book Depository was for sure the high light. That and a bar called Lee Harvey's. I don't feel like uploading those pictures. It was fun though.

L.A.! Loved it but never need to live there unless I'm crazy rich.

The highlights were seeing my BFF, Andrea and meeting her co-stars from the play she's in. Fat Pig was the play and it was wonderful. Scott Wolf was in it and we hung out all night! He AND his wife (from the New Orleans Real World) and Chris Pine (Just My Luck/Smokin Aces) and the rest of the crowd were all so smart and sweet and fun. I had the time of my life. And so did Tracey the cat. I'm thinking about starting a blog just for her but you can see some of her pics here.

Oh great. My pictures aren't posting all of a sudden. Now you don't believe me do you. I will try again later. But I swears I met Scott Wolf. Ask him.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

So today is Jason's last day at his current job. The hours were insane and we never saw each other and all of a sudden a new oppotunity and career path opened up to him so he took it. He's nervous and we still need to get a car (it's a wine sales job so a car is a must) BUT I think he's excited too even if he won't admit it.

Selfishly I'm excited because I get to have him around again during the week AND on weekends!!! I can't remember the last time we had our weekends off together.

He has 13 days off starting tomorrow. I'll be missing a lot of those due to my crazy jet setting life style this month but it's going to be so cool to come back from L.A. and have him HOME on a Saturday night!

This post is kind of boring but I just wanted to say way to go Jason on trying something new and knowing when something old isn't working. Change is always weird and nerve wracking but mostly it's exciting and new. Like the Love Boat. (hahahah I typed "Love Bat" the first time....ahahah...now THAT would be some good television)

*That picture is of Jason in his work clothes trying to get in a quick song or two on Guitar Hero. His cab was literally waiting outside when I took the pic.*

I'm it.

I think this is called a meme which I say like this: meah meah. Anyway I have to do it.

A. Available or Single? No. That question is confused and I'm married.

B. Best Friend? Jason and Freddy and the Katzfey's

C. Cake or Pie? I don't really like either. I know I know I just don't. I like angel food cake every now and then. but not that much.

D. Drink of Choice? iced tea or chardonnay

E. Essential Item? Tide Stain Sticks and my insurance card

F. Favorite Color? Orange

G. Gummi Bears or Worms? Worms.

H. Hometown? Stevens Point, Wisconsin

I. Indulgence? everything

J. January or February? February just because it's closer to spring

K. Kids? not yet but I want one soonish!

L. Life is incomplete without - hysterical laughing

M. Marriage Date? Jason was my date to my marriage.

N. Number of siblings? 2 older sisters

O. Oranges or apples? Oranges because they smell awesome

P. Phobias/Fears? frogs and toads. *SHIVER!!!*

Q. Favorite quote? "Waiter! That mustachioed gentleman is eating my soup!" Jason said that out of the blue to no one in particular the other morning and now it's our new favorite quote because it makes no sense in any universe.

R. Reasons to smile? Guitar Hero and Jason and seeing my family this weekend and my sister's new hot tub and I get to leave at 11 today and have Monday off!

S. Season? I love them all but fall is my favorite

T. Tag Three. TAG - Let's play four square instead

U. Unknown fact about me - I have to hold a piece of my hair to fall asleep. I mean while it's still on my head. It's not like I have a bag of hair that I cuddle with.

V. Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animals? recovered vegetarian

W. Worst habits - relaxing too much

X. X Rays or Ultrasound? I've had tons of both. I glow in the dark.

Y. Your Favorite Food- spaghetti...I miss the days of eating giant bowls of noodles....sigh.

Z. Zodiac- Libra

Now that THAT'S over with I think my favorite moment of the spring happened last night. Jason and I had Matt and King over for some Guitar Hero and while I was jamming on a song I'd never heard of King said to Jason "Crescent is really good at Guitar Hero. I was not expecting that."

Olivia Newton-John and I talked last night....

in my dreams! Literally in my dreams, not like "yeah...in your DREAMS Crescent you liar!!!". We've been a little obsessed with her lately at work after three of us in my dept. discovered we were all die hard fans of hers as children. Joe said that he spent a majority of his youth convinced that he and O.N.J. would someday be wed. Eva went through a very long and serious head band phase after seeing the Physical video and I used to force my mom to call me Sandy OR Olivia while I paraded around the house in a short sleeved black leotard that I would alternate the sleeve position on to indicate whether I was "good Sandy" or "bad Sandy". Every time I lowered the shoulders down a few inches I would announce the arrival of Bad Sandy by yelling "Tell me about it....STUD!".

Anyway, we've been listening to (and singing) Make a Move On Me and Magic via YouTube over and over and over. It keeps us sane and drives our non-fan co-workers into early departures and extra coffee breaks.

So, last night, I dreamed that I got to have a nice little sit down with a Xanadu era Ms. Newton-J. She was all fadey and soft looking like when they put Vaseline on lenses to make the elderly women on Dynasty look like 20 year olds.

I started the convo with "You know I recently watched Grease again and that was actually a really sucky movie." She agreed. Don't get me wrong...that was DREAM me. REAL me thinks Grease is NON-sucky and kept me company during my single digit years.

I don't remember much else except that she was really nice and seemed to like me even though I dogged on Grease. I do remember having the "talk" about the sad decline into stupidity that is John Travolta and how I loved him as much as I loved her until he decided to love on Zenu....or Xenu...whatever that fake alien thing is that L. Ron talked people into paying for or something.

My point of this post is this. I have also been experiencing some light to moderate baby fever these days and started going through my baby name list that I've known for years. My number one girl name is Olivia. Funny thing is, until this Newton-John resurrection this past month I didn't even put it together that I probably love that name because of her.

Typical.

In conclusion, here is a video I wish I'd made. It actually made me tear up a little. Again, I say, typical.

You Otter Watch This.

this, for some reason, restores my faith in the world. Not that I didn't have any before but man...it's just sooooooooo precious!!! I can't take it.

FLOSS FIGHT!

Jason and I and some friends were out getting overserved last Thursday night. We were walking from bowling to some bar or another when Jason and I decided to have a chase, throw things, kick fight. I was laughing too hard for most of it to be any kind of worthy foe to him, but I did get to utilize the entire box of dental floss that was in my bag. It was quite beautiful actually. Kind of like ribbon dancing only smaller. I forgot all about it until I was walking down Lincoln on Saturday and saw the carnage of our floss war.

I love notes.

This is a pic of my notes collection. It's more of a triad than a collection but it's going to grow into something magical, I just know it. My co-worker Joe always wants to go for coffee towards the end of the day so a group of us usually make a Starbucks run around 3:00. One day we totally spaced and forgot to tell him. When I got back to my desk there was a note on my chair that said "You went to Starbucks? I'm hurt. Sadly (then sadly is crossed out), Sadly, Joe." It's become our favorite joke over in my area. At least once a day one of us says..."Sadly....(then we make a cross out noise) Sadly, Joe." It's so not funny to the outside world but man it kills me still.

So then yesterday I sent Joe some pictures I had taken of a booth layout at a tradeshow for some graphics stuff he's doing and the photos were horrible due to my crap camera (Jason found it in a cab 3 years ago so what do I expect?). Joe was laughing hystercially and I told him not to hurt my feelings (jokingly) then I went for coffee without him. When I got back a napkin was on my chair "Crescent, I'm sorry about my photo comments. Sorry, (crossed out) Sorry, Joe."

I love office antics and private jokes. Even though I just made this one sort of public.

PS - The yellow note says "I am the last can standing". It was on a can of LaCroix water a few months ago and it cracked me up. I have a weak constitution for puns and word play.