Good things are happening in my life. Jason's new job, a possible promotion for me in the works, we move into a much nicer and bigger apt in a couple weeks....ahh...should be feeling a peace. But I'm me, so instead I am having one of my chicken little episodes where the smallest things are stressing me out so badly because things are so great. Does that make sense? No? Well eat it. It's just how I feel.
The thing about it all is that I am bumbly by design. There's just no two ways about it. I am clumsy and bumbly and when stressed this little quirk of mine (I'm gonna let it shine) gets amped up from bumbly to total walking disaster.
All I wanted to do last night was go home, put on tenners, walk to Jewel to cash in our huge jar of change, come home, enjoy a frozen diet dinner and watch my backed up episodes of Jericho. But NOOOOOOOOOooooooo......
(This is the part that my dear friend Matt leans in closer to the computer screen and evilly rubs his hands together in anticipation of the antics I am about to relive through the written word.)
I leave work. Train is running 45 minutes late. Fine. I can deal with that. It DOES throw off my schedule a bit but I'm flexible.
Finally get home around 7:30 walk into the apartment and immediately slip and fall and crack my back on the book shelf. Now slipping on nothing happens to me all the time but THIS time I had slipped in something. It was cat barf. I cleaned up that little gift and then went into the bathroom to pee and I find MORE cat barf. (the barfing cat is fine now just so no one worries....he just has a delicate constitution).
I get the last of the paper towels, t.p. and a sponge and clean it up. I then put a wad of toilet paper in the toilet and flush. All of a sudden OVERFLOW!!! OVERFLOW!!! Toilet water EVERYWHERE....unstoppable, cascading toilet water. I grab all the old towels I can and clean it up. Then I try our crappy Walgreen's plunger. The rubber top breaks off. At this point I stopped and took a deep breath and decided to go get a new plunger and cash in those coins.
In my bumbly frustration I decide to use a garbage bag for the 100 lbs of coinage. I dumped them all into the bag and put THAT bag into my messenger bag. Walking 7 blocks with the extra weight was good exercise but man.....I thought I might die at one point.
Got to Jewel, head to the Coinstar machine...open my bag aaaaaaannnnnd the garbage broke so all my coins started spilling everywhere in the store. I finally got them all into the machine. (the total was $143.02 for those of you who were wondering.)
I buy the LAST plunger they have and a frozen diet dinner and walk back home feeling much more positive about it all.
I'm no slouch when it comes to plumbing, just so you know. I was known for my ability to fix toilets with nothing more than a toothpick and a good attitude back in the day. So I was feeling cocky about my ability to plunge out this clog. I plunged and plunged and then flushed. OVERFLOW!!! again.
Meanwhile two fire trucks and an ambulance have pulled up in front of my building. I'm thinking they were either called after a call from a concerned neighbor who heard my tirade of profanity during the first overflow OR my building is on fire. Luckily it was neither. I think it was a false alarm. But the flashing lights and sirens did not help my stress level.
I STILL have to pee, mind you. My phone wasn't working so I couldn't call anyone for help. I decided to call it a night. I took a shower, skipped my dinner on the off chance that it didn't agree with me on a night when I was toilet-less, and watched two episodes of Jericho.
At least I was better off than those poor post nuclear war survivors. That was comforting.
The thing about it all is that I am bumbly by design. There's just no two ways about it. I am clumsy and bumbly and when stressed this little quirk of mine (I'm gonna let it shine) gets amped up from bumbly to total walking disaster.
All I wanted to do last night was go home, put on tenners, walk to Jewel to cash in our huge jar of change, come home, enjoy a frozen diet dinner and watch my backed up episodes of Jericho. But NOOOOOOOOOooooooo......
(This is the part that my dear friend Matt leans in closer to the computer screen and evilly rubs his hands together in anticipation of the antics I am about to relive through the written word.)
I leave work. Train is running 45 minutes late. Fine. I can deal with that. It DOES throw off my schedule a bit but I'm flexible.
Finally get home around 7:30 walk into the apartment and immediately slip and fall and crack my back on the book shelf. Now slipping on nothing happens to me all the time but THIS time I had slipped in something. It was cat barf. I cleaned up that little gift and then went into the bathroom to pee and I find MORE cat barf. (the barfing cat is fine now just so no one worries....he just has a delicate constitution).
I get the last of the paper towels, t.p. and a sponge and clean it up. I then put a wad of toilet paper in the toilet and flush. All of a sudden OVERFLOW!!! OVERFLOW!!! Toilet water EVERYWHERE....unstoppable, cascading toilet water. I grab all the old towels I can and clean it up. Then I try our crappy Walgreen's plunger. The rubber top breaks off. At this point I stopped and took a deep breath and decided to go get a new plunger and cash in those coins.
In my bumbly frustration I decide to use a garbage bag for the 100 lbs of coinage. I dumped them all into the bag and put THAT bag into my messenger bag. Walking 7 blocks with the extra weight was good exercise but man.....I thought I might die at one point.
Got to Jewel, head to the Coinstar machine...open my bag aaaaaaannnnnd the garbage broke so all my coins started spilling everywhere in the store. I finally got them all into the machine. (the total was $143.02 for those of you who were wondering.)
I buy the LAST plunger they have and a frozen diet dinner and walk back home feeling much more positive about it all.
I'm no slouch when it comes to plumbing, just so you know. I was known for my ability to fix toilets with nothing more than a toothpick and a good attitude back in the day. So I was feeling cocky about my ability to plunge out this clog. I plunged and plunged and then flushed. OVERFLOW!!! again.
Meanwhile two fire trucks and an ambulance have pulled up in front of my building. I'm thinking they were either called after a call from a concerned neighbor who heard my tirade of profanity during the first overflow OR my building is on fire. Luckily it was neither. I think it was a false alarm. But the flashing lights and sirens did not help my stress level.
I STILL have to pee, mind you. My phone wasn't working so I couldn't call anyone for help. I decided to call it a night. I took a shower, skipped my dinner on the off chance that it didn't agree with me on a night when I was toilet-less, and watched two episodes of Jericho.
At least I was better off than those poor post nuclear war survivors. That was comforting.
PS - And yes, we had to pee in the bathtub during the night....which I think Jason actually thought was kind of fun. I did not.
2 comments:
Crescent. I adore you.
Seriously. I share your bumbliness and just know that you are awesome.
Oh Marg-U I adore you too. I wish you could come to my hood and drink beers with me tonight.
50 Cent Burgers,
Crescent
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