Post Holiday Post.

We had a great holiday, of course. The only thing you need to know is this:

On our way to Madison it was blizzarding like mad and as joke Jason rolled down my window. Ha ha ha. Then the window never went back up. It was stuck. Totally stuck all the way down.

We tried to tape a garbage bag over it but the second we hit the highway it was sucked out the window.

We had an hour left in our drive IN THE SLEET AND SNOW. I put on all my packer outdoor gear and Jason made up Christmas songs and commercial jingles to pass the time.

Once we got to my sister's Jason and Jon (brother in law) had to take off the door panel and finally were able to get the window back up, thank jeebus.

That is all. I just don't want to forget that story because it was classic Jason and Crescent and for some weird reason made me love him even more.

Love,
Crescent

Don't blog with your mouth full...

What? I'm sorry I didn't catch that....did you ask "so Crescent, how much weight have you lost?"? You did? Oh well I hate to blog out of school but I've lost TEN POUNDS mutha flippaz!!!!! I'm very excited. I can't really see it yet but I can feel it, if that makes sense. I don't feel so "OW! MY KNEES!" or "DAMN! MY BACK!" as I did before. I have a long way to go (35 more lbs) but damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

SO in light of that I treated myself to the Smart Ones ravioli Florentine today along with my salad of carrots and greens (has anyone seen the dog whisperer South Park where Cartman is all changed and says "don't worry mother...I'm simply having a breakfast of lean ham and melon" or something like that? Anyway, that's how I read that last line in my head voice.)

I gotta say, these Smart Ones are winning the race and my heart.

What it's supposed to look like:

What it really looks like:

Oh.....whoops. Sorry about that. But I guess that will serve as my rating for today.

Walk a few feet in my shoes.

In the past 20 minutes I have:

• Learned how to set up a video conference with laptop capabilities.
• Seen a horrible image of how I look on a video conference in this outfit and with my hair not really "done" that I shant soon forget.
• Had a stomach emergency (due to stupid Lean Cuisine Stir Fry bowl. I'm not even blogging about it I'm so mad)
• Dumped hot coffee all over my front. I shall smell of work coffee for the rest of my days.
• Dumped MORE hot coffee all over the floor trying to get it into a carafe'.
• McGuyver'd that shiz by figuring out a way to get the coffee out of the giant dispenser and into the carafe' via a measuring cup in a timely manner WHILE enduring possible 7th degree front of body burns.
• LOUDLY dropped an ice cube pincher in the middle of a meeting
• Found out the meeting I was REALLY worried about setting up tomorrow is being taken care of by someone else....which honestly makes the last 20 minutes totally worth it.
• Someone is going to sleep like a champ tonight.

PS!

I also have fallen into a crazed hysterical lust with THIS product.





It tastes just like you are eating a giant Asian salad even though it was only carrots and greens. AND it's one calorie a squirt! (I think the preferred nomenclature is "spray" but I gotta be me).



Paul Newman's dressings in general are the best around.....nothing is gonna EVER keep them down. Not even DEATH!

.......too soon?

A dark horse...

I may have found my frozen diet meal love of a lifetime. We are talking about maybe getting a little place together in the burbs (I typed the burps the first time....that too) and buying a few pure bred dogs and cars. We are THAT in love.

What's it's supposed to look like:

What it REALLLLLY looks like:

This is the one you guys. The chicken is perfectly cooked and tastes like an actual chicken breast as opposed to most frozen chicken dishes. The sauce was like some awesome divey Italian restaurant with Chianti bottle candles on the tables and checkered bibs to wear. The NOODLES....dear god...the noodles. They are fat like an opera singer and tasty like an...um....thing that tastes good. (BOOOO!!! Audience throws tomatoes at my head).

Morgan (hi Morgie!) and I hit the Jewel last night and she talked me into some diet frozen lunch risks. I usually only get Lean Cuisine but I gotsta tell you......Smart Ones might just have my number.

Rating: making out on the pier with this lunch and forgetting to go to bio lab.

"Give it a minute....it's going to SPACE!"

I stole this from another blog but it's perfect. Jason you will extra love this.

Lasagna.....Guest blogger Fabio from Top Cheeef!

What it supposed to look a'like:

What it a' REEAly look a'like:

How it taste!: Just'a like a'the real ting! (Kisses fingers and says "MUAH! Deliciousio!" and tosses a pizza pie up in the air and catches it and winks)

What I give dis: Many keeeses on a'your'a face! 9.5! (winks again)

Thanks Fabio. You are a REAL Italian and a national treasure.

Cool new feature!

So it's finally happened. I'm on Weight Watchers and it's going very well actually. I'm down 5 lbs in 2 weeks and not feeling TOO homicidal.

Anyway, I thought I'd rate my frozen diet lunches a few times a week because EVERYONE wants to know about dis!!!!! Right? Right.

Today's Lunch: Lean Cuisine Sesame Stir Fry with Chicken

Points: 6

What it's supposed to look like:

What it ACTUALLY looks like:

How it tastes: Pretty decent. The little beans are sad and dry but the noodles are good and let's face it....that's what I'm in it for. If I can't lose weight by going home and eating a giant pan full of buttered noodles with cheese then I need some noodle in my day to day.

Rating on a scale of 1-5 (1 being "you kept me from punching people today, dear lunch" and 5 being "Why can't you be more like Big Mac, you failure."):

3.5 I just wish there was more of you. Like five more servings. Plus the chicken ooged me out a few times.

Tune in tomorrow for one of my all time favorites.....Lasagna. It's little but it almost makes you not want to eat your hand.

Love,

Crescent

Thanks! Giving!

Hi.

We had the best Thanksgiving weekend of all time. Seriously. OF ALL TIME!!!

In other news....I had a dream last night that I was on a reality show again. This time the challenge was to jog in place for 3 hours. I knew I was going to lose and started crying. I hate reality show cryers, but there I was. Bawling and knowing I was going to be kicked off. I woke up before the elimination but I bet if I would have stayed asleep I would have said "You haven't seen the last of Crescent. I'm not here to make friends. They threw me under the bus."

I had a great dream about Leona's though so that made up for it.