Guy Adkins - King of the Love Bubble.

"Thank you for writing and sharing all of this with me. It's the greatest side effect of these notes that I write. I get to hear so many thoughts and stories from friends and from friends I don't know. It means so much to me right now. I don't know. It feels powerful, I guess."

-Guy Adkins in reply to an email from me.

Julie and I used to see every show Guy did in college when we were in high school. We ADORED him like an Elvis. He would walk onto the stage and just win the whole thing. There was a tenderness to him that endeared everyone who met him, as far as I can tell.

I feel a little assuming or presumptuous or one of those types of words even writing about him since my contact with him was limited to a teen crush then adult respect via his writings. But this year I've had so many dreams about him and think about him and read his words over and over. He chose to be honest about his cancer and I've tried to be the same because of him. It's hard NOT to eulogize a person who inspires bravery and honesty. So there. I feel like he wouldn't mind. I hope not anyway.

His notes on cancer terrified me and filled me with joy at the same time. Our cancer journeys were/are very different but he found ways to say so many of things that cross your mind when you are going through it. No matter what the cancer. No matter what the stage.

I reached out to him via his blog/email to just let him know how inspiring he was to me when I was a teenager and now, as a 35 year old with cancer.

Today I think of his heartbroken partner and his family and friends trying to understand all this. Ugh. Just the worst. But that love will live and live and live.

Then I think of Jason and all I want to do is spring him from work, buy a bunch of canned goods and pasta and fire wood and just lean my bald head on his shoulder for 87 years and only take breaks to pee and cook noodles. Alas, life calls and you have to live it with as little fear as possible. You have to.

He put into words so much of what I feel about this experience. He passed away last night into the storm. Full of light and love and music. Taken far too soon but finally free from the pain. He's everywhere now, I would imagine. Too many people loved him for his destination to be one finite place.

Anyway....perspective. Love works. Thank you for being my friends and family. Hug and kiss each other today and tomorrow and every day for at least 87 years, please.

Guy had a love bubble too. We are the lucky ones.

"So I forgot my troubles and just got happy. Try it. I mean really try. I've said before that I don't want a fight and I still feel that here but I think we have to try. I still think this life we have is a gift and we have to try to be happy. I don't know if it's a right or a privilege, an accident or a figment of our imaginations. It's something everyone wants so much. It's everything, Happiness. And I really have it. At least it seems like I do. If I'm deluded, don't tell me."-Guy's last post.