So last night was Jason's first night off in a loooong time and we decided to go have a nice dinner at Fiddlehead Cafe (go eat there..it's great). Well everything was fine until I said SOMETHING that made my own self cry and I couldn't stop. What the hell is THAT about? It's not hormones...it's not life...life is good! I just am so sensitive lately. I hate it. My theory, for now, is that it's because my apartment is a mess from the move still and since my friends are coming over tonight to help me clean it up for a baby shower I'm throwing on Saturday I feel like maybe that will help? Maybe? Is that what this is? Or is it just winter?
The only way I can explain it is that I feel like an ass a lot lately or like I'm embarrassed more than normal or something. And not funny, wacky Crescent embarrassed, but the kind that makes you feel like a huge tool the next day and gives you a stomach ache. I'm just kind of down on myself in general.
I told two of my best friends about last night via text and they both said pretty much the same thing.
Text from Fred: You're bottling shit up again, Guy. (he calls me guy)
Text from Anne: Oh sweetie....I'm not surprised with all you've been holding in.
So I ask myself, "Self? Why can everyone else see when you are in need of a release of my emotional toxins but I can NEVER feel it coming myself? Self?? Answer me!!!" Alas I have no answer. I guess it's just the way that I am and that's okay really. I figure if I have a weird, really poorly timed sob fest once every half a year or so I'm doing pretty well.
It just frustrates me to be living such a great life and still get upset like that sometimes. That seems selfish and weird but I suppose it's just the way it goes.
Oh, and the crying happened between the risotto and the sturgeon and was all wrapped up by the time we got home. So date night wasn't a total wash by any means. I'm just still embarrassed. Poor Jason didn't know what to do. Ugh. I sooo need to invest in a time machine or something. I hate reflecting sometimes.
1 comment:
Pretty girl,
I did the same thing Monday night (the most depressing night of the year), I sat and cried for oh...half an hour? Babbling on and on about something or other.
Must be in the water.
Either way, at least you got some of it out. Trust yourself love.
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